Mysterious Text

i got a text today from a number i didnt recognize and it said this,

"22 missionaries in Afghanistan are being tortured to death today. Please be in prayer for them."

my first instinct was to be sad because people are being killed as i type this, but then it dawned on me what they are dying for!!!! they are dying today because they did not hide their faith. they were not ashamed of the Name of Christ! that is such an encouragement to me! they find so much worth in Jesus that even in the face of death they stay true to their Savior :) i dont think they need a bit of prayer, God has them in His hands and soon enough they will be by His side. i think the people that need prayer right now are the people that are killing them and the families. i pity the people that are killing these missionaries because they are going to have to face this one day, hopefully before they reach the end of their life and its going to hurt. at some point they are going to realize what they did and it'll be a thorn in their side. i hope and pray that they realize the weight of what they did today and find forgiveness before its too late. and i hope that the families of the missionaries that are being killed today see this as a beautiful thing. beneath all the pain of losing someone they love i hope they'll have a peace that their loved one died a noble death! and the most glorious thing about today is that they may be in pain right now but they are about to be in the full presence of the Lord and any pain they felt today will be forgotten due to the magnitude of Gods glory shinning before them. im actually jealous of them. what an honor to die for the only thing that really matters. Praise God!

Am I doing this right??

i have been going to a bible study for about 6 weeks now and we have been going thru the book crazy love and we always go around and share what stood out to us personally in reading the chapter that previous week. now to preface, this book is all about motivating the people that go through the motions of Christianity to do it with heart and passion. so this week the quote that i particularly enjoyed was this,

"when you are pursuing love, running toward Christ, you do not have opportunity to wonder, am i doing this right? or did i serve enough this week? when you are running toward Christ you are freed up to serve, love, and give thanks without guilt, worry, or fear. as long as you are running, you are safe."

as long as your goal and hearts desire is to serve God in everything you do then your heart is pure and like the quote said, your safe! its when you ask questions like, how far can i go for this to still be "ok"? if your asking those kind of questions and you call your self a follower of Christ you may want to sit down and think about what you really want. do you want to glorify Christ or yourself? there are way to many people in this world that say they are "Christians" and then they live their lives for themselves! being a Christian is about sacrificing yourself for a greater purpose, giving to people freely, loving people when they dont deserve it, putting yourself in situations where God has to show up in order for you to continue living! Christianity is so messed up in eyes of people that dont know the Lord because they see the people that claim Christ but dont actually follow Him and dont live in the way that shows people there is hope and a greater love than ANYTHING they have ever experienced. we need to be living lives that people see and before we utter the words that we follow Christ, they KNOW something is different. that kind of living is powerful.

so if you find that your living for yourself or your wondering if "your doing this right?" then you need to figure out who you want to follow, either way, and give everything you've got cause Christ isnt up for half a heart. He wants ALL of you! if you can muster up the slightest desire to follow Christ then pray for that desire to grow. of course God will give you more desire for him if your seeking it. and for everyone wherever you may be in your walk, ask yourself this question.

"if you could have heaven, with no sickness, & with all the friends you ever had on earth, & all the food you ever liked, & all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, & all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, & no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?"

Disciples

ive been reading the book Velvet Elvis, by Rob Bell and in one of the chapters i got a better understanding of what a disciple really is. the way it used to work back then was that students would do their schooling and at age 14 they would go out and find a rabbi that they appreciated and they would ask the rabbi if they could follow. if the rabbi said, "go home and learn your family business" that meant that the rabbi didnt think the young man had what it took to follow his yoke. meaning follow in his footsteps, or view scripture in the same way as he did. BUT if the rabbi responded, "come, follow me" then that meant that the rabbi knew that this young man was up for the challenge. soooo just so you keep up, a disciple is someone that not only views scripture in the same light BUT somebody that actually strives to be just like the rabbi they follow! so then here comes Jesus and people saw Him as a Rabbi and just like tradition follows, Jesus says to 12 boys/men, "come, follow me" and they came, they follow and even after Jesus left they continued to walk in His footsteps and continue His mission. well....what do you think we are! we are disciples of Christ! we have made the commitment to follow Him. and i love that cause not only are we seeing things His way but we try to be more and more like Him! sanctification, the continuation of our salvation! something that isnt complete until we are united with Christ in Heaven!!! so anyway, all that to say the part that touched my heart the most. i assume most of you know about the story of all the disciples in the boat with Jesus when a storm kicks up and Jesus steps out of the boat and walks on the water. paul asks to walk to Him. he takes a few steps and then falls in the water. the point that rob presses here is not that paul lost faith in Christ!!! how could he!?! Jesus was standing right there in plain sight on top of the water? paul lost faith in himself. what we need to realize is that God chose each of you. He knew that you were up for the challenge and so He said, "come, follow me". not only do you have faith in God, but HE has faith in YOU. He chose you, so He must know that you are capable of amazing things! i just loved that. Gods love is so huge, it gets bigger and bigger and im trilled to be able to live this life and know that its only going to become bigger and bigger as i follow Him :)

Ministry......right?

so a little while ago i was in my bible study and we were reading a chapter in Crazy Love and the focus was on living a life full out for the Lord, going out to every country making disciple, and living extreme lives for His Glory! well it made one of the girls in my bible study a little confused and a little discouraged. i think there are definitely people that are called into ministry and are called to devote their lives to God through running a church or maintaining a mission field in another country! but i also believe that people have to be back on the mainland! what my friend struggled with was, "wouldn't it just be easier to go into ministry??" she felt discouraged because her going through school to be a nurse wasn't dedicating her life to living on nothing in Africa. it is weird to think that there are people that God has called to be in "ministry" for their job and people to be doctors, and garbage men, and store clerks, and in my case, hair dressers. so it would seem like God might have favoritism towards the people he calls for ministry but i think its something so much more personal than that. the industry that i am going into with hair styles and make up and fashion and putting on a face everyday can be seen by a lot of people as a very shallow job that God would never call anyone into. but if i know God, He's got something so personal in mind. i believe that God is so amazing and knows us soooo intricately that He knows what is going to make us happy. God knows that i thrive in an environment where i can express myself creatively and be around people to love. so obviously being a hairdresser is what i was made to do. God knows that i have such a deep passion for that! i believe he knows that i will glorify him in my passion and i will see His glory in the little things that others may not notice. God knows every one of you so intricately that he takes your passions and shapes them to ultimately glorify Him. for my friend, being a nurse, she gets to experience Gods glory in the little scientific things that other people, like me, wouldn't understand. God has such a cool way of connecting to His people. and whose to say that you have to be in another country or in a church everyday to bring other others into the Kingdom of God!!! we get the opportunity to make a difference every single day. Love the people around you at work or just in every day life. you are chosen by God and He wants to do big things with you whether your a pastor, missionary, or just a garbage man.

colossians 3:23

whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men!

Palm Trees

last night i went to Midtown Church which i LOVE, by the way. there is such an amazing group of people there. i feel encouraged and welcomed the moment i walk in the door! but last night was particularly special because Aaron Keyes spoke. i always love hearing from aaron because i know how much he fills himself with scripture and you get to see it all flow out of him when he speaks. anyway, he spoke last night on worship and took scripture from the Psalms because its full of people who have lifted up worship to God through the good times and the bad. well then he went into different ways that we outwardly worhip the Lord. he compared it to palm trees and willow trees. now ill start with the willow trees because the good stuff comes with the palm trees :) willow trees as you know are droopy. they actually grow downward and bend downward. they bow. in asian country's if you were to meet someone that was older than you or at a higher status than you you would bow before them to show your respect for them and acknowledge that you are lower than them. now with our worhip when you are humbled at the Lords greatness dont you naturally want to bow, get on your knees, or put your face to the floor cause there is nowhere lower to go?! its not a bad thing, its a beautiful thing! you are acknowledging that God is higher than you and so He receives the glory! now onto the palm tree which is my favorite. in Levitcus 23:40 it talks about raising palm branches and REJOICING before the Lord! Aaron hit on 5 facts about palm trees that so define the people who truly rejoice in the Lord and here they are:

1. unlike most trees, palm tree's roots go miles into the ground looking for a water source. but because these roots run so deep they remain rooted through ANY storm! notice how in hurricanes and tornadoes, the palms are practically bent over.....but they never break :) they are strong and after the storm they are actually stronger.

2. palm trees can never be cut down because they get their nutrients from "the heart" which is in its root in the ground! the heart is safe in the foundation. so you can hack and hack at a palm tree and cut it deep but it will always grow back. just like Christians, we may be cut down and attacked but we grow back because we were made to stand strong and tall and our heart is protected by our foundation.

3. the fruit from a palm tree can never be taken or eaten by any animal because they are held high, protected. aaron referenced a verse that talked about how when God protects us, He doesnt hide us from sight, He hides us out of reach. but he took this a little differently than i thought and referred to the fruit on the tree as the 'fruit of our loins'. if you train up your children in the way of the Lord then they will not turn from it (proverbs 22:6). we protect our children just like a palm tree. hold them close where its safe but if they decide to fall, we cant force them to stay.

4. a palm tree keeps growing. they keep growing higher and higher to the sky until they die. and i think this is a vital thing that we have to remember as christians, is to NEVER stop growing. there will always be more to learn and God doesnt have a cut off age for His plans for you, not until the day He finally takes you home!

5. and finally, the only way a palm tree can die is the cold. this is why palm trees are only in like florida and the desert, etc. but this is, i think, the most important to know and hold onto. you have to keep the fire burning inside. that fire is your passion to not only live BUT live to the fullest! if that fire freezes up the passion goes with it.

anyway, i hope i didnt butcher what he said but it was really neat to me and i believe the Lord will have you interpret what he wants you to hear, so im not too worried. i learn well with imagery so i hope you do as well :)

REJOICE!!!

The Art of Suffering

tonight i had the honor of hearing Rob Bell speak and my eyes have just been opened to the beauty and creativity that suffering seems to have. there is an art to the way that suffering effects our lives! michael angelo once said that david was in that boulder waiting to be found. sculpting isnt about what you can cram together. its about knowing what to chip away. havent you noticed that when you go through tragedies they have a way of opening your eyes to the things in life that are important and the things that should be chipped away. there is something brilliant inside of us that God has created that is waiting to be found, but in order to find those beautiful aspects of who we are we have to chip away the clutter! but along with finding the deeper parts of ourselves tragedy can be a way to see the deeper parts of the people around us. i mean if you were in a big group of people and were asked to stand up and see who all had been to hawaii, there wouldnt be much of a connection there but if you were asked to stand up if you had been directly effected by cancer that changes things a bit and suddenly you have a connection with every person that is standing in that room. you understand what they have been through because you have been through it too. and because of that beautiful connection that is made in suffering, it emphasizes the power of the cross. it furthers the connection we have with Christ because he has been there. he knows every type of suffering so in anything, you can rest assured you have a connection with the God of the Universe! and so yeah, i think there is a flawless beauty in suffering. everything that i am today that has made me who i am is a result of some sort of suffering ive gone through, and i am happier with who i am today than who i have been in the past. im sure you can agree with that, so obviously there is a mysterious beauty in tragedy. it kinda makes me crave it now....?

One Step

i love how the Lord relates to people. i feel like a lot of people hold off from pursuing the Lord because they feel like they have fallen too far and where they want to be isnt even close to where they are. so the reason i love Him so much is He loves meeting us at the door when we knock, taking our baggage inside and helping us unpack. there is a process and we just have to take that first little step toward where we want to be and then years down the road we look at ourselves and realize that we have been changed in a beautiful way. when i look back at who i was in high school it makes me cringe. but i realized that i wanted to be different and i took small steps and even though it has been hard along the way i am much closer to where i want to be now. obviously, i am not perfect nor who i want to be, but in a way, i think its beautiful. the more i learn about the Lord the more i want to be like him and i just feel like with every little step that i take and every lesson that i learn i am blossoming more and more into the the woman that God desires for me to be. because he knows that only by drawing close to Him will i grasp true joy. one of my favorite things to think about is sanctification! when we accept Christ that is only the beginning and then you spend the rest of your life being drawn in closer and closer to the heart of God and it becomes who you are. i love it!!!!

so, to sum it up. figure out what it is that you want to change, maybe even make a list and then instead of being overwelmed by the list, take one thing at a time and move in the right direction. embrace the process!!!!!

Folding

"we believe there is a forefront (the position of greatest importance or prominence). on one side there is a lost and dying world and on the other is the Kingdom of God. our goal is to fold ourselves over that line. our feet are grounded in the Kingdom of God, held down by the people who support and love us and our hands are reaching over that line pulling people into the Kingdom of God!"

this is a summarized version of a quote from the music group P.O.D that i heard in a sermon not too long ago. i loved the imagery that that quote gave. this faith can be hard sometimes when we try and figure out how to live in this world and not of it. well this is the closest ive heard to a description of what our faith is supposed to look like and i love it! how beautiful is that picture. having your feet grounded with the support of the people who love you and the Lord and want whats best for you. but also, reaching across the line that separates pulling people into the Kingdom! but i think the part that is the most important here is that you are held tight because if you arent you could get pulled in a direction where you lose sight of what God has for you. but in addition to that i think we also lose sight of what God wants for the people around us. i mean if we are not reflecting who God is then we are giving people a view point that is incorrect. so we have to commit to reading about the nature of God in Scripture and then trying to model it.

OMG Amazing!

yesterday one my friends got married to a man that has just amazed us with his wisdom, humor, love for tindell and love for God from day one! it has been such a joy for the people in her life to have seen the transformation that has happened in her and everything the Lord has blessed her with for genuinely trusting the Lord. one day she just decided to trust God with her relationships and because she did she was able to meet a man that God had waiting for her as soon as she was ready to trust Him.

in this past year i have just seen soooo clearly how faithful the Lord really is when you actually trust him! ive always had trouble knowing what trusting God really means. i used to throw that word around to people who i felt like needed to but then one of them asked what it meant to do that and i was stumped! i didnt really know how to answer cause, to be completely honest, i hadnt actually done it. well this past year i have kept finding myself in situations where i have been able to practice placing my trust in God and HIS plan for me. there have been so many instances where i really do want to do what God wants for me but i end up doing what i want more because its easier or it makes me feel better for a little while. well as im sure you have experienced that doesnt really work for long. eventually all those little decisions that you have made on your own catch up with you and just kind of sting. to give a better picture of what trust is im going put a couple things below that define what trust is.

Trust
-reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
-confident expectation of something; hope.
-a person on whom or thing on which one relies

by not not relying on Gods integrity, which He has, stength, which He has, ability, which He has, and surety, which He has we are ultimately saying that he isnt those things which is a lie! how can we not have confidence in Him? you know one of the coolest things about this past year for me is actually learning that He does have a plan for me and when i actually take a second and think about what the wisest thing to do is and not just what i want to do, i have been able to experience trust in Someone that amazes me with the things that He has for me. it really does blow my mind!!! life just makes more sense with Him. so now when things come up in my life i actually desire to see what He has in mind cause, taking a look back, i obviously dont have a clue haha.

i read a pretty funny quote a long time ago and it said this:

"Jesus is my co-pilot cause i drive like a idiot!"

so if your having trouble trusting in God, which i definitely understand. just try it once. pray hard about what it means to trust God in whatever situation presents you and i promise, when He follows through, your gonna want to trust Him more and more :)

Drop Kicking Babies

i have been thinking about faith tonight and what real faith is. in the Bible it talks about faith that moves mountains!!!!! i may be mistaken but i dont think the Bible "exaggerates". real faith is one that believes, without a doubt, in the God that can do anything. even moving mountains. a couple years ago i heard a few stories about a guy that had so much faith in God and extreme humility. he was not afraid to look like an idiot if in the end God received the glory! now this man was gifted in healing and so there were a few instances where he healed people in ways that were so crazy that he HAD to have faith that God was going to follow through or else he would have looked like a complete fool! he healed an old woman's heart condition by punching her in chest several times. and another person, in order to allow them to walk again, he slung them out of their wheel chair! i mean i would be terrified that if i slung someone out of their wheel chair trying to "heal" them! i would be so scared that they would fall flat on their face and then have me arrested. i mean this man had amazing faith. now this is not to say that we should go pushing people out of wheel chairs and punching people in the chest. BUT i do believe that God calls us to do things that bring us way out of our comfort zone and require us to have BIG faith! sometimes God is gonna put us in situations where we have to trust that He is going to follow through and give us BIG results that make us fall on our knees in worship!!!!! listen and dont be scared :)

but above all else, i hope that you will be still with me and soak in this truth.

nothing in this world matters but Christ.

only when we accept that and believe it with everything in us will we begin to have big mountain moving faith. the moment we realize that He is the only thing that really matters, suddenly the pride fades away and looking an idiot isnt so bad after all, not for Him at least ;)

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was SATISFIED -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in GLORIOUS DAY
Up from the grave he rose again!!!!!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has LOST its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!! tonight i am more than thankful for Gods power over satan!!!!!! it is such and overwhelming feeling that i can do nothing but praise God for His Glorious and Powerful Name that crushes and defeats the evil one. the evil things of this world will not last and they will be crushed under the mighty foot of Christ. no.... they HAVE been crushed. Christ has already overcome death, therefore overcoming satan. he has no power over the People of God! CLAIM THAT! satan has no power in comparison to Christ and you have Christ within you! stand in Christ and His Power alone! AMEN!

A People Shaped Hole

im pretty sure just about everyone is familiar with that song by Plumb that has the line "there's a God shaped hole in all of us". actually for the longest time i thought they were swearing...but anyway, i was reading back over some notes that i took at a Roots one Sunday when Casey Murphy spoke. she really has a heart for community and so she was sharing about that. in Genesis 2:18 it says, "and the Lord God said, "it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him"". and it was brought to my attention that that doesnt necessarily mean "future spouse". think about the people that God has called to a life of celibacy. well they are no exception?? man is not meant to be alone so who do they have? community. the people in our lives are soooo crucial! so as there is a God shaped hole, i also believe there is one slightly smaller right next to it that is meant for people. and its certainly not that God "cant" fill it, i think he chooses not to because he sooo desperately wants us to know how community feels and can be. He shows us this in the Trinity. God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit know community. they delight in each other! a beautiful picture of it is in Matthew 3 where Jesus is baptized. relationships are what Christ lived for, they're what He died for! obviously He is passionate about them. now our first love should always be the Lord and that relationship will be the most fulfilling but what is the Body without an eye...a leg...the pinky toe :) every bit of it is so important, but more than that, how all of it works together! the toes would be nothing without the foot. i really do believe that our lives are intricately intertwined and purposefully placed together to bring God glory. relationships are very important and i am blessed to have the ones that i do in my life. you know who you are ;)

Grace in Love

ok im going to start this out having you think about the person that you love more than anyone else in this world! somebody that you would absolutely never want to let down. now picture yourself doing something that breaks their heart. im sure you know of times when you have let someone down that you love cause i certainly have and it is one of the most painful feelings cause you cant take it back. knowing that you have crushed that person for doing something that you could have chosen not to do. well i have just been thinking about Christ in that way. i do things allllll the time that break His heart and its funny cause people will say sarcastic things like, "oh come on just do it, jesus is still gonna love you." well, yeah He will, and thats exactly why i dont want to do something that will hurt Him! Him not loving me is the last thing im worried about. the fact that He KEEPS loving me when i do things to cause Him pain is miraculous! i think its something that a lot of people cant grasp because of people in their lives that only love conditionally. i get chill bumps sometimes when i really think about how much the Lord loves me and i have such a tainted veiw of what that really is. i mean because of the fall i dont really know what LOVE is. think about it this way. we know a lot about the sun, we see it, we feel warmth from it, we feel the effects of it, but think about actually being on the sun! you just cant even imagine the heat that you would feel. it would be an all consuming fire that would overcome you! for me that is such a cool way to think about God as the source of love. when we have the chance to be in that love one day it is going to be all consuming and it will overcome us. it makes me want to do everything i can to get closer and closer to understanding His love and experiencing it and if i continue to do things that are hurting Him its only going to hinder me getting to where i want to get with my Savior. i hope and pray that we can choose to live lives that bring him everlasting glory and because of it experience a love that we cant even imagine right now. one that will continue to surprise us :)

Hope in the Who

so last night i went to Buckhead church and the sermon was exactly what i needed to hear. they are going through a series right now called "the waiting room" and it was just perfect for me right now. im at a point in my life where im not married, i dont have a job, and i basically dont have a life....ha. its a lot of waiting right now for things to start happening and ive made the mistake of putting my hope in those things. having the mindset that once i get a job i can breath for a little bit, or once i get married everything will work out. there are 2 dangers that he touched on last night concerning our hopes being in the whats and the whens of our desires and they were this. one danger is, when what your waiting on becomes what your hoping in, you may not actually get it, resulting in discouragement and causing you to maybe always wonder if it will ever happen. and the other danger is that you might get what you want. for the most part we get what we are waiting for, but it may not be what we thought it would be. he used an example of an autobiography that John Mackenroe wrote about being the number 1 tennis payer in the world. 5 years in a row he kept getting beat out by another player and finally he won and even went further than that and won many other things. then one day he was standing in the airport and it hit him. he was the NUMBER 1 tennis player in the world and he still felt empty inside. things in this world are going to continue to let you down. i havent found one yet that hasent failed me at some point. why should my dream job or my future husband be any different?? thats not to say that those things arent going to be tremendous blessings but they are going to let me down if i put my hope in them. our hope has to be in something that will never let us down. i mean what is hope!

definitions:
-the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
-to believe, desire, or trust
-To look forward to with confidence or expectation
-A wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment

i have been through a lot of different circumstances where i have "gotten my hopes up" about something and then they were let down. that is not living out the full definition of what hope is supposed to be. and to think i actually have the privilege to have hope! i have Christ and because of that i should always have hope because he is in control and everything results in good with Him! why would i ever put my hope in anything else!!! so, even though its difficult to not have the things i desire, i put my hope in Him, knowing that he does want to fulfill my desires. i will look to Him and take each day, one step at a time, closer to Him and all i can expect is satisfaction in whatever He gives me, because above all else i have Him. my circumstances certainly havent changed but my persective has.

Sweating bullets of blood

this morning i am remembering of the magnitude of the cross. i forget a lot of the intricate details about how huge that price was but this morning i have been reminded and i just want to make it real for you too! i cant even imagine what it must have been like for Christ who was perfect and holy to become sin. "He became who we were so that we could become who He is" [pg.61, Discovery] i mean its pretty difficult for us to really grasp that, but think about it! we are so used to being in sin that the thought of taking on sin doesnt really phase us. its natural for us and we're so used to it! Christ was agonizing in that garden the night before His death, not because of the physical pain He was about to endure. it was because he was about to be completely separated from His Father and from everything that He is! not only that but he was going to take on the FULL wrath of God for sins. God abhors sin! and all that wrath was taken out on Jesus. BUT Jesus understood that by paying that bride price that would mean that we would be able to share in His righteousness one day. that must be such a glorious thing if He was willing to take on the wrath of God so we could experience it! Paise God! i want to give you a picture of what he took on for us to see His glory one day :)

Jesus is love-he experienced complete, consuming hatred. despised and rejected

Jesus is the "Light of the world"-on the cross he experienced total darkness and everything associated with sin and evil.

Jesus is peace-on the cross he experienced total frustration, anxiety, fear, hopelessness and desperation

Jesus is truth-on the cross everything became confusing, inconsistent, and illogical

Jesus is satisfaction, the "Bread of Life"-one the cross he experienced emotional and spiritual hunger: longing, craving, yearning, complete dissatisfaction

Jesus is The Way-on the cross he felt frustratingly lost with no direction. uncertain, perplexed, bewildered, full of doubts, empty and confused

Jesus is security-one the cross experienced fear, insecurity, and overwelming loneliness

Jesus is mercy-on the cross he experinced ultimate abuse, oppression, and torture

Jesus is just-on the cross he experienced unfairness, corruption, dishonesty and all the reactions and emotions that go along with unjust treatment

In isaiah he says Christ was like a lamb led to slaughter, not uttering a sound. maybe the reason Christ was so silent was because if he had uttered one word all of heaven would have responded. but He endured and because He experienced His Father as God, we can now experience God as our Father :) and as our Father He wants us to run to Him when we experience some of the things that Christ experienced on the Cross. He understands and delights in being able to relate to His people. now delight in the fact that you have a perfect Father that you CAN run to! there is nothing too big for Him to overcome. there is no reason to dwell in the pain of this world because He has overcome the world. we have triumpth over sin, now live in that!

Dumela!

This heart note is in honor of the group of people who are in Botswana right now serving the Lord!!! i went on the trip last year and it was one of the most powerful mission trips that i have ever been on and i know that God is doing magnificent things with every single person that is there right now. when i think back on my trip a year ago what i remember most is how much the Lord uses a vulnerable heart. i went on that trip with my mind set that i was going to be completely open to whatever God laid before me. i was blown away at all the opportunities He gave me to be His servant. one of my favorite memories from the trip, though, was getting baptized. thomas nelson, my college minister and leader of the trip, told us about how in the times of Jesus people would leave big stones in places where something really powerful/meaningful/big had happened and they would call them "Ebeneezers". well the Lord had done so much in my life in the 2 years prior to that trip that "shockingly" enough, all seemed to be what led me to go on that trip. so in honor of what the Lord had brought me through i decided to get baptized there in Africa and have that be a promise of a life devoted to Him and one of the many Ebeneezers that im sure ill have in my life. now when i look back at that trip i am reminded of a God that never sleeps and is always moving in the lives of the people He loves. i dont have much to say tonight but i hope that it encourages you to move towards a vulnerable heart or pray about what that looks like. You may have to sacrifice a lot to get there but dont you think its worth it?

1 peter 1:3-9
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

by the way....Dumela means hello is Setswana....its the only word i remember :)

how long now....

when we arrive at eternity's shore
where death is just a memory and tears are no more
we'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your Bride will come together and we'll sing
Your beautiful.

the longer i live the more i just want to be with my Savior. i read something in the book Soul Cravings a while back that was really encouraging. it was about how me and my "future husband" are being prepared for one another as i live my everyday life. im going through trials, and so is he, to be prepared for each other one day. i always loved the thought of that. you know, meeting in the middle. but today i was thinking about that and i just kind of saw it in a new light. Christ is doing the same thing with us! we are going through all these trials because he has an "end" in mind. and that is our glorious wedding ceremony when we join him in Heaven!!! when i finally saw that i wanted to be there sooo bad, but since that isnt in my hands, i just have to keep living and going through the trials that are slowly molding me into His perfect bride. and when i look at it that way, it makes the trials something to rejoice in! ive always found it hard to rejoice in trials but now i feel like that is possible. and you know, when your surrounded by people that just hate thier lives and they see you living out joy in really difficult times....that speaks volumes. let your actions do the talking, they usually make a bigger impact than anything you can say.

something to ponder on.....
*"the critical question for our generation-& for every generation-is this: if you could have heaven, with no sickness, & with all the friends you ever had on earth, & all the food you ever liked, & all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, & all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, & no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?"
-John Piper

Lifeline

I have this sinking feeling
Something's weighing me down
I am completely saturated
The waves are crashing closer
My feet already drowned
Doing the thing I said I hated

They've been swimming in the wrong water
Now they're pulling me down
But I am clinging to you, never letting go
'Cos I know that you'll lift me out

Have your way here
Keep me afloat 'cos I know I'll sink without you
Take this ocean of pain that is mine
Throw me a lifeline

Wake up feeling convicted
I know something's not right
Re-acquaint my knees with the carpet
I have to get this out
'Cos it's obstructing you and I
Dry up the seas that keep us parted

i just keep finding that i need the Lord to keep coming to save me from myself. i have no idea whats best for me. i just dig myself deeper and deeper in a hole. i was reading something a while back and it was about the Lord and how he knows us sooo much better than we do, so obviously he knows what best for us better than we do ourselves. so then the only way we are going to even begin to get out of this "ocean" we're drowning in, is if we seek him and fill ourselves with His truth. only then are we going to even slightly get a glimpse of what He actually wants for us. that is why we have to constantly keep our eyes in the Word and keep filling ourselves up with His wisdom.

delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. -psalm 37:4

i know this verse can be pretty over used but a couple years ago i really grasped what this verse is getting at. im sure that God is laughing at that comment cause i probably have no idea haha, but the more we delight in him (aka fill ourselves up full of Him and meditate on all that He is) then our heart begins to conform to His and His desires really become our own. i mean our whole life purpose is to be molded and formed closer and closer to Christ. so eventually we really want what He wants for us and we are able to discern between satans little schemes to trick us with sneaky unfulfilling desires and then the "oh so worth it" desires that God so strongly has for us. im hoping and praying that we can become a people that digs in deep to scripture and encourages the Body so we can have the desires that are worth it. Go DIG! :)

Crazy Love

about a week ago i finished reading the book crazy love. it was such a good book! if you havent read it i encourage you to! but there was something in it that really convicted me. im done with school in 2 months and then i have to find a job and start a life of my own. so reading this book was perfect timing, as God tends to work :) one of the chapters talked about money and then one about living a life that is totally dependent upon God. they both really hit me. i actually feel lucky that i have so little money to my name right now. i have the opportunity to start MY life right. and i love the adventure that i feel like is before me. ive had plans in my head of how things are going to go once i graduate but after reading this book i have come to realize that His plans always trump my own. i heard a quote recently that i really liked, it was this,

"Gods plans are always bigger than our comfort zones....which one do think is gonna have to change?"

God certainly isnt gonna change his plans because we dont feel comfortable. our "comfort" is not exactly God's first priority. His glory is! so i have decided that i am going to go with Him. im not sure where that is going to take me at this point but i know that my future is going to involve a lot of trust that God is going to provide. i want my life to become one that is totally dependent on God. and starting out, at least, i want to be put in a place where i have to believe that God is going to provide! i want to struggle trying to support myself financially. i just know that being on my own for a little is going to put my relationship with God on a new level of trust and meaning. and as far as money.....i think it has potential to get in the way of the relationship i want with God. so im leaving it in his hands to bless me with money if he thinks im wise enough to handle it. at this point i dont feel like i am.

but in Crazy Love there was a chapter that just had peoples names and their stories. these were stories of hearts that CHOSE to depend on God on a daily basis and it was soooo cool to see what the Lord has done with a dependent heart. there were stories of people who lived crazy lives! the adventures of these people were so out there and just not normal. so anyway, i guess with this i want to encourage you to just live crazy love! it doesnt matter where you are in life. you can always decide to give it all up to Him :)

The Body

i wanted to start writing blogs because i read a blog of a friend of mine who just got back from Africa. hearing about her experience and everything that she learned made me really want to start sharing the things on my heart because i was so encouraged by what she said. so im calling my blog heart notes. my main goal in these blogs is to encourage and spur on the Body of Christ. i hope and pray that the words i share on this are not my own and not for my gain. i want the Lord to be glorified through what i write. i also hope that if you are encouraged you would let me know :)

the first thing i want to write about is the Body because i know that it can be such a beautiful thing. i see bits and peices of its potential every now and then but its just not enough. there is so much power when Gods Church comes together unified. i wanted to write about the Body because i need it right now. when you are surrounded by people who love you and love the Lord it is so encouraging. you feel like you can do anything because you have their support. and honestly right now i feel deprived. i can only imagine the amount of people out there that feel it more than me right now. i know im blessed with friends and family that love me but there are so many people out there that dont have that. feeling the way i do on this lonely weekend makes me want to reach out and love people all the more. i have recently been "considering" a tatoo to get that would be something that reminds me of the Lord and what i should always strive towards. and i found a picture of a heart that had designs that flowed out beyond the initial shape and it just struck me. our hearts should be so full of Gods love that we have no choice but to overflow to the people around us. i have seen in the past year how huge loving people is. it makes a statement! but i know that when i dont have encouragement from the Body it fades. there was a point a little while ago where people kept asking me if i was ok? nothing was wrong necessarily but i realised that the joy that the Lord gives me and that my friends give me had been sparse. this is not a blow to my friends in any way, because a friendship is a 2 way street, but i wasnt investing in my friendships that i really do care so much about and so they didnt really return back to me. and i realised that it showed. i looked defeated. and that is not something that i want to portray to people that dont know Christs' love. i should always be joyful because when people see joy, they see hope. we need hope in our lives because so many people just dont have it. they feel defeated. please join me in striving to encourage other believers and build up the Kingdom of God! i know there is power in the Body. now prove it :)