so last night i went to Buckhead church and the sermon was exactly what i needed to hear. they are going through a series right now called "the waiting room" and it was just perfect for me right now. im at a point in my life where im not married, i dont have a job, and i basically dont have a life....ha. its a lot of waiting right now for things to start happening and ive made the mistake of putting my hope in those things. having the mindset that once i get a job i can breath for a little bit, or once i get married everything will work out. there are 2 dangers that he touched on last night concerning our hopes being in the whats and the whens of our desires and they were this. one danger is, when what your waiting on becomes what your hoping in, you may not actually get it, resulting in discouragement and causing you to maybe always wonder if it will ever happen. and the other danger is that you might get what you want. for the most part we get what we are waiting for, but it may not be what we thought it would be. he used an example of an autobiography that John Mackenroe wrote about being the number 1 tennis payer in the world. 5 years in a row he kept getting beat out by another player and finally he won and even went further than that and won many other things. then one day he was standing in the airport and it hit him. he was the NUMBER 1 tennis player in the world and he still felt empty inside. things in this world are going to continue to let you down. i havent found one yet that hasent failed me at some point. why should my dream job or my future husband be any different?? thats not to say that those things arent going to be tremendous blessings but they are going to let me down if i put my hope in them. our hope has to be in something that will never let us down. i mean what is hope!
definitions:
-the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
-to believe, desire, or trust
-To look forward to with confidence or expectation
-A wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment
i have been through a lot of different circumstances where i have "gotten my hopes up" about something and then they were let down. that is not living out the full definition of what hope is supposed to be. and to think i actually have the privilege to have hope! i have Christ and because of that i should always have hope because he is in control and everything results in good with Him! why would i ever put my hope in anything else!!! so, even though its difficult to not have the things i desire, i put my hope in Him, knowing that he does want to fulfill my desires. i will look to Him and take each day, one step at a time, closer to Him and all i can expect is satisfaction in whatever He gives me, because above all else i have Him. my circumstances certainly havent changed but my persective has.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Sweating bullets of blood
this morning i am remembering of the magnitude of the cross. i forget a lot of the intricate details about how huge that price was but this morning i have been reminded and i just want to make it real for you too! i cant even imagine what it must have been like for Christ who was perfect and holy to become sin. "He became who we were so that we could become who He is" [pg.61, Discovery] i mean its pretty difficult for us to really grasp that, but think about it! we are so used to being in sin that the thought of taking on sin doesnt really phase us. its natural for us and we're so used to it! Christ was agonizing in that garden the night before His death, not because of the physical pain He was about to endure. it was because he was about to be completely separated from His Father and from everything that He is! not only that but he was going to take on the FULL wrath of God for sins. God abhors sin! and all that wrath was taken out on Jesus. BUT Jesus understood that by paying that bride price that would mean that we would be able to share in His righteousness one day. that must be such a glorious thing if He was willing to take on the wrath of God so we could experience it! Paise God! i want to give you a picture of what he took on for us to see His glory one day :)
Jesus is love-he experienced complete, consuming hatred. despised and rejected
Jesus is the "Light of the world"-on the cross he experienced total darkness and everything associated with sin and evil.
Jesus is peace-on the cross he experienced total frustration, anxiety, fear, hopelessness and desperation
Jesus is truth-on the cross everything became confusing, inconsistent, and illogical
Jesus is satisfaction, the "Bread of Life"-one the cross he experienced emotional and spiritual hunger: longing, craving, yearning, complete dissatisfaction
Jesus is The Way-on the cross he felt frustratingly lost with no direction. uncertain, perplexed, bewildered, full of doubts, empty and confused
Jesus is security-one the cross experienced fear, insecurity, and overwelming loneliness
Jesus is mercy-on the cross he experinced ultimate abuse, oppression, and torture
Jesus is just-on the cross he experienced unfairness, corruption, dishonesty and all the reactions and emotions that go along with unjust treatment
In isaiah he says Christ was like a lamb led to slaughter, not uttering a sound. maybe the reason Christ was so silent was because if he had uttered one word all of heaven would have responded. but He endured and because He experienced His Father as God, we can now experience God as our Father :) and as our Father He wants us to run to Him when we experience some of the things that Christ experienced on the Cross. He understands and delights in being able to relate to His people. now delight in the fact that you have a perfect Father that you CAN run to! there is nothing too big for Him to overcome. there is no reason to dwell in the pain of this world because He has overcome the world. we have triumpth over sin, now live in that!
Jesus is love-he experienced complete, consuming hatred. despised and rejected
Jesus is the "Light of the world"-on the cross he experienced total darkness and everything associated with sin and evil.
Jesus is peace-on the cross he experienced total frustration, anxiety, fear, hopelessness and desperation
Jesus is truth-on the cross everything became confusing, inconsistent, and illogical
Jesus is satisfaction, the "Bread of Life"-one the cross he experienced emotional and spiritual hunger: longing, craving, yearning, complete dissatisfaction
Jesus is The Way-on the cross he felt frustratingly lost with no direction. uncertain, perplexed, bewildered, full of doubts, empty and confused
Jesus is security-one the cross experienced fear, insecurity, and overwelming loneliness
Jesus is mercy-on the cross he experinced ultimate abuse, oppression, and torture
Jesus is just-on the cross he experienced unfairness, corruption, dishonesty and all the reactions and emotions that go along with unjust treatment
In isaiah he says Christ was like a lamb led to slaughter, not uttering a sound. maybe the reason Christ was so silent was because if he had uttered one word all of heaven would have responded. but He endured and because He experienced His Father as God, we can now experience God as our Father :) and as our Father He wants us to run to Him when we experience some of the things that Christ experienced on the Cross. He understands and delights in being able to relate to His people. now delight in the fact that you have a perfect Father that you CAN run to! there is nothing too big for Him to overcome. there is no reason to dwell in the pain of this world because He has overcome the world. we have triumpth over sin, now live in that!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Dumela!
This heart note is in honor of the group of people who are in Botswana right now serving the Lord!!! i went on the trip last year and it was one of the most powerful mission trips that i have ever been on and i know that God is doing magnificent things with every single person that is there right now. when i think back on my trip a year ago what i remember most is how much the Lord uses a vulnerable heart. i went on that trip with my mind set that i was going to be completely open to whatever God laid before me. i was blown away at all the opportunities He gave me to be His servant. one of my favorite memories from the trip, though, was getting baptized. thomas nelson, my college minister and leader of the trip, told us about how in the times of Jesus people would leave big stones in places where something really powerful/meaningful/big had happened and they would call them "Ebeneezers". well the Lord had done so much in my life in the 2 years prior to that trip that "shockingly" enough, all seemed to be what led me to go on that trip. so in honor of what the Lord had brought me through i decided to get baptized there in Africa and have that be a promise of a life devoted to Him and one of the many Ebeneezers that im sure ill have in my life. now when i look back at that trip i am reminded of a God that never sleeps and is always moving in the lives of the people He loves. i dont have much to say tonight but i hope that it encourages you to move towards a vulnerable heart or pray about what that looks like. You may have to sacrifice a lot to get there but dont you think its worth it?
1 peter 1:3-9
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
by the way....Dumela means hello is Setswana....its the only word i remember :)
1 peter 1:3-9
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
by the way....Dumela means hello is Setswana....its the only word i remember :)
Thursday, July 23, 2009
how long now....
when we arrive at eternity's shore
where death is just a memory and tears are no more
we'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your Bride will come together and we'll sing
Your beautiful.
the longer i live the more i just want to be with my Savior. i read something in the book Soul Cravings a while back that was really encouraging. it was about how me and my "future husband" are being prepared for one another as i live my everyday life. im going through trials, and so is he, to be prepared for each other one day. i always loved the thought of that. you know, meeting in the middle. but today i was thinking about that and i just kind of saw it in a new light. Christ is doing the same thing with us! we are going through all these trials because he has an "end" in mind. and that is our glorious wedding ceremony when we join him in Heaven!!! when i finally saw that i wanted to be there sooo bad, but since that isnt in my hands, i just have to keep living and going through the trials that are slowly molding me into His perfect bride. and when i look at it that way, it makes the trials something to rejoice in! ive always found it hard to rejoice in trials but now i feel like that is possible. and you know, when your surrounded by people that just hate thier lives and they see you living out joy in really difficult times....that speaks volumes. let your actions do the talking, they usually make a bigger impact than anything you can say.
something to ponder on.....
*"the critical question for our generation-& for every generation-is this: if you could have heaven, with no sickness, & with all the friends you ever had on earth, & all the food you ever liked, & all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, & all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, & no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?"
-John Piper
where death is just a memory and tears are no more
we'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your Bride will come together and we'll sing
Your beautiful.
the longer i live the more i just want to be with my Savior. i read something in the book Soul Cravings a while back that was really encouraging. it was about how me and my "future husband" are being prepared for one another as i live my everyday life. im going through trials, and so is he, to be prepared for each other one day. i always loved the thought of that. you know, meeting in the middle. but today i was thinking about that and i just kind of saw it in a new light. Christ is doing the same thing with us! we are going through all these trials because he has an "end" in mind. and that is our glorious wedding ceremony when we join him in Heaven!!! when i finally saw that i wanted to be there sooo bad, but since that isnt in my hands, i just have to keep living and going through the trials that are slowly molding me into His perfect bride. and when i look at it that way, it makes the trials something to rejoice in! ive always found it hard to rejoice in trials but now i feel like that is possible. and you know, when your surrounded by people that just hate thier lives and they see you living out joy in really difficult times....that speaks volumes. let your actions do the talking, they usually make a bigger impact than anything you can say.
something to ponder on.....
*"the critical question for our generation-& for every generation-is this: if you could have heaven, with no sickness, & with all the friends you ever had on earth, & all the food you ever liked, & all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, & all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, & no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?"
-John Piper
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Lifeline
I have this sinking feeling
Something's weighing me down
I am completely saturated
The waves are crashing closer
My feet already drowned
Doing the thing I said I hated
They've been swimming in the wrong water
Now they're pulling me down
But I am clinging to you, never letting go
'Cos I know that you'll lift me out
Have your way here
Keep me afloat 'cos I know I'll sink without you
Take this ocean of pain that is mine
Throw me a lifeline
Wake up feeling convicted
I know something's not right
Re-acquaint my knees with the carpet
I have to get this out
'Cos it's obstructing you and I
Dry up the seas that keep us parted
i just keep finding that i need the Lord to keep coming to save me from myself. i have no idea whats best for me. i just dig myself deeper and deeper in a hole. i was reading something a while back and it was about the Lord and how he knows us sooo much better than we do, so obviously he knows what best for us better than we do ourselves. so then the only way we are going to even begin to get out of this "ocean" we're drowning in, is if we seek him and fill ourselves with His truth. only then are we going to even slightly get a glimpse of what He actually wants for us. that is why we have to constantly keep our eyes in the Word and keep filling ourselves up with His wisdom.
delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. -psalm 37:4
i know this verse can be pretty over used but a couple years ago i really grasped what this verse is getting at. im sure that God is laughing at that comment cause i probably have no idea haha, but the more we delight in him (aka fill ourselves up full of Him and meditate on all that He is) then our heart begins to conform to His and His desires really become our own. i mean our whole life purpose is to be molded and formed closer and closer to Christ. so eventually we really want what He wants for us and we are able to discern between satans little schemes to trick us with sneaky unfulfilling desires and then the "oh so worth it" desires that God so strongly has for us. im hoping and praying that we can become a people that digs in deep to scripture and encourages the Body so we can have the desires that are worth it. Go DIG! :)
Something's weighing me down
I am completely saturated
The waves are crashing closer
My feet already drowned
Doing the thing I said I hated
They've been swimming in the wrong water
Now they're pulling me down
But I am clinging to you, never letting go
'Cos I know that you'll lift me out
Have your way here
Keep me afloat 'cos I know I'll sink without you
Take this ocean of pain that is mine
Throw me a lifeline
Wake up feeling convicted
I know something's not right
Re-acquaint my knees with the carpet
I have to get this out
'Cos it's obstructing you and I
Dry up the seas that keep us parted
i just keep finding that i need the Lord to keep coming to save me from myself. i have no idea whats best for me. i just dig myself deeper and deeper in a hole. i was reading something a while back and it was about the Lord and how he knows us sooo much better than we do, so obviously he knows what best for us better than we do ourselves. so then the only way we are going to even begin to get out of this "ocean" we're drowning in, is if we seek him and fill ourselves with His truth. only then are we going to even slightly get a glimpse of what He actually wants for us. that is why we have to constantly keep our eyes in the Word and keep filling ourselves up with His wisdom.
delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. -psalm 37:4
i know this verse can be pretty over used but a couple years ago i really grasped what this verse is getting at. im sure that God is laughing at that comment cause i probably have no idea haha, but the more we delight in him (aka fill ourselves up full of Him and meditate on all that He is) then our heart begins to conform to His and His desires really become our own. i mean our whole life purpose is to be molded and formed closer and closer to Christ. so eventually we really want what He wants for us and we are able to discern between satans little schemes to trick us with sneaky unfulfilling desires and then the "oh so worth it" desires that God so strongly has for us. im hoping and praying that we can become a people that digs in deep to scripture and encourages the Body so we can have the desires that are worth it. Go DIG! :)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Crazy Love
about a week ago i finished reading the book crazy love. it was such a good book! if you havent read it i encourage you to! but there was something in it that really convicted me. im done with school in 2 months and then i have to find a job and start a life of my own. so reading this book was perfect timing, as God tends to work :) one of the chapters talked about money and then one about living a life that is totally dependent upon God. they both really hit me. i actually feel lucky that i have so little money to my name right now. i have the opportunity to start MY life right. and i love the adventure that i feel like is before me. ive had plans in my head of how things are going to go once i graduate but after reading this book i have come to realize that His plans always trump my own. i heard a quote recently that i really liked, it was this,
"Gods plans are always bigger than our comfort zones....which one do think is gonna have to change?"
God certainly isnt gonna change his plans because we dont feel comfortable. our "comfort" is not exactly God's first priority. His glory is! so i have decided that i am going to go with Him. im not sure where that is going to take me at this point but i know that my future is going to involve a lot of trust that God is going to provide. i want my life to become one that is totally dependent on God. and starting out, at least, i want to be put in a place where i have to believe that God is going to provide! i want to struggle trying to support myself financially. i just know that being on my own for a little is going to put my relationship with God on a new level of trust and meaning. and as far as money.....i think it has potential to get in the way of the relationship i want with God. so im leaving it in his hands to bless me with money if he thinks im wise enough to handle it. at this point i dont feel like i am.
but in Crazy Love there was a chapter that just had peoples names and their stories. these were stories of hearts that CHOSE to depend on God on a daily basis and it was soooo cool to see what the Lord has done with a dependent heart. there were stories of people who lived crazy lives! the adventures of these people were so out there and just not normal. so anyway, i guess with this i want to encourage you to just live crazy love! it doesnt matter where you are in life. you can always decide to give it all up to Him :)
"Gods plans are always bigger than our comfort zones....which one do think is gonna have to change?"
God certainly isnt gonna change his plans because we dont feel comfortable. our "comfort" is not exactly God's first priority. His glory is! so i have decided that i am going to go with Him. im not sure where that is going to take me at this point but i know that my future is going to involve a lot of trust that God is going to provide. i want my life to become one that is totally dependent on God. and starting out, at least, i want to be put in a place where i have to believe that God is going to provide! i want to struggle trying to support myself financially. i just know that being on my own for a little is going to put my relationship with God on a new level of trust and meaning. and as far as money.....i think it has potential to get in the way of the relationship i want with God. so im leaving it in his hands to bless me with money if he thinks im wise enough to handle it. at this point i dont feel like i am.
but in Crazy Love there was a chapter that just had peoples names and their stories. these were stories of hearts that CHOSE to depend on God on a daily basis and it was soooo cool to see what the Lord has done with a dependent heart. there were stories of people who lived crazy lives! the adventures of these people were so out there and just not normal. so anyway, i guess with this i want to encourage you to just live crazy love! it doesnt matter where you are in life. you can always decide to give it all up to Him :)
The Body
i wanted to start writing blogs because i read a blog of a friend of mine who just got back from Africa. hearing about her experience and everything that she learned made me really want to start sharing the things on my heart because i was so encouraged by what she said. so im calling my blog heart notes. my main goal in these blogs is to encourage and spur on the Body of Christ. i hope and pray that the words i share on this are not my own and not for my gain. i want the Lord to be glorified through what i write. i also hope that if you are encouraged you would let me know :)
the first thing i want to write about is the Body because i know that it can be such a beautiful thing. i see bits and peices of its potential every now and then but its just not enough. there is so much power when Gods Church comes together unified. i wanted to write about the Body because i need it right now. when you are surrounded by people who love you and love the Lord it is so encouraging. you feel like you can do anything because you have their support. and honestly right now i feel deprived. i can only imagine the amount of people out there that feel it more than me right now. i know im blessed with friends and family that love me but there are so many people out there that dont have that. feeling the way i do on this lonely weekend makes me want to reach out and love people all the more. i have recently been "considering" a tatoo to get that would be something that reminds me of the Lord and what i should always strive towards. and i found a picture of a heart that had designs that flowed out beyond the initial shape and it just struck me. our hearts should be so full of Gods love that we have no choice but to overflow to the people around us. i have seen in the past year how huge loving people is. it makes a statement! but i know that when i dont have encouragement from the Body it fades. there was a point a little while ago where people kept asking me if i was ok? nothing was wrong necessarily but i realised that the joy that the Lord gives me and that my friends give me had been sparse. this is not a blow to my friends in any way, because a friendship is a 2 way street, but i wasnt investing in my friendships that i really do care so much about and so they didnt really return back to me. and i realised that it showed. i looked defeated. and that is not something that i want to portray to people that dont know Christs' love. i should always be joyful because when people see joy, they see hope. we need hope in our lives because so many people just dont have it. they feel defeated. please join me in striving to encourage other believers and build up the Kingdom of God! i know there is power in the Body. now prove it :)
the first thing i want to write about is the Body because i know that it can be such a beautiful thing. i see bits and peices of its potential every now and then but its just not enough. there is so much power when Gods Church comes together unified. i wanted to write about the Body because i need it right now. when you are surrounded by people who love you and love the Lord it is so encouraging. you feel like you can do anything because you have their support. and honestly right now i feel deprived. i can only imagine the amount of people out there that feel it more than me right now. i know im blessed with friends and family that love me but there are so many people out there that dont have that. feeling the way i do on this lonely weekend makes me want to reach out and love people all the more. i have recently been "considering" a tatoo to get that would be something that reminds me of the Lord and what i should always strive towards. and i found a picture of a heart that had designs that flowed out beyond the initial shape and it just struck me. our hearts should be so full of Gods love that we have no choice but to overflow to the people around us. i have seen in the past year how huge loving people is. it makes a statement! but i know that when i dont have encouragement from the Body it fades. there was a point a little while ago where people kept asking me if i was ok? nothing was wrong necessarily but i realised that the joy that the Lord gives me and that my friends give me had been sparse. this is not a blow to my friends in any way, because a friendship is a 2 way street, but i wasnt investing in my friendships that i really do care so much about and so they didnt really return back to me. and i realised that it showed. i looked defeated. and that is not something that i want to portray to people that dont know Christs' love. i should always be joyful because when people see joy, they see hope. we need hope in our lives because so many people just dont have it. they feel defeated. please join me in striving to encourage other believers and build up the Kingdom of God! i know there is power in the Body. now prove it :)
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