Lebanon and Beyond!

in july i have the honor of going to Lebanon on a mission trip and going into it i looked at it as any other mission trip that i have gone on. getting ready for it is all the same. signing up, finding support, going to meetings, preparing hearts, and anything else that needs to be done. but ive slowly realized that this trip is not the same as the ones i have been on in the past. a few months ago right after i sent out support letters for the trip i got a phone call from my dad and then a few days later from my grandparents. both of their calls were filled with concern for this area that im going to. lebanon tends to have out breaks of violence and usually their targets are americans and christians and i happen to be both of those things. so i can level with their concern because i know that they love me and they are protective over me but something felt weird about their concern. i kept thinking through our conversation......"you are christians and have been for as long as ive been alive and you are fearing my life when its in the Lords hands!?" i dont in any way mean to devalue their relationship with God, but i felt like there should have been a smidge more trust then there seemed to be. i have never really thought about being a martyr until everything that has kind of gone down with this trip. but thats one death that even though im sure it would be scary as hell, i feel like there would be a peace about it because it is soooo glorifying to God. giving up your life for the sake of the cross! now i know this is SUPER morbid to bring up but its just what has been going through my head. i dont expect to die on this trip. i know that my life is in Gods hands and He cant possibly be done with me on this earth! ive barely lived! there is so much that He has to do and i want to be a part of it! so if God has more for me then i am BULLET PROOF on this trip! satan cant lay a hand on me!

there was a lady at midtown about a week ago and she was telling her story about her trip to afghanistan in 2001......yeah interesting timing huh? well she ended up getting arrested and was in jail there for 3 months! but what she said that struck a chord in me was the verse matthew 6:25 which says, "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." what she realized through her experience was that sometimes, most of the time, you dont have to actually physically lose your life, just quit trying to save it all the time. God has a plan and has His hands over your life. He knows what he wants to do in the hearts and lives of His people. she concluded her story with how she got out of that prison and what happened was american troops caused the Taliban to flee from where her and the other missionaries were being held and ultimately the whole town that they were in. so that day they walked through that city in freedom from prison with the people, that they came to share real freedom with, who were physically free that day as well. and in that moment she realized that it was 9 years to the day when she experienced that real freedom from a life enslaved by sin to a life gloriously free in Christ! what a symbolic day!!! i bet that really penetrated into the core of her heart and changed her for the better! i guess the point of writing this is just to say that God has a better end in mind than anything that we can think up and i just hope and pray that we can trust that no matter what comes our way. i have peace about all this now but pray that it will endure even the most unthinkable of things. im in this to become more like Christ and he suffered immensely so why should i think i can become more like him without going through some tough times myself.

Marraige Is Everywhere!!!!

so im getting to the age where a lot of my friends are getting engaged and getting married and it is just rampant right now! its all around me! so naturally its on my mind and i recently heard a sermon on marriage but it took a little twist that i liked. being a christian that loves the Lord and desires glory for Him more than anything i have found that i quite enjoy pissing off Satan :) and nothing pisses off Satan more than Glory for God and not him! therefore this sermon on marriage was a good one. the title of the sermon was "Marriage is a Kingdom Thing" and as most of you know marriage on this earth with the man or woman that God blesses you with is meant to be a picture of God and, His Bride, the Church, aka all His people. so that imagery was touched on a bit which i always find beautiful. being a girl i love thinking about that day when i walk down the aisle and that man, whoever he is, standing at the alter absolutely captivated by me and the thought of finally being made one with me. its such a beautiful parallel to how God delights in His Church finally being united with Him again in Heaven one day and having an intimacy so strong its as if you're one! so looking at that picture and seeing how wonderful that is you have to look at the other side and see that that is the LAST thing that Satan wants! he wants everything opposite of that, and all that is, is brokenness and pain. so one of the main points that was touched on that i hadn't quite thought about full circle yet was on sexual immortality. it is one of those sins that effects your heart and body more than any other sin and "crazily" enough its the one that is most struggled with by all. sex is so commercialized and praised and pushed but not the way that God intended for it to be. the difference between sex before marriage and within marriage is SOOOO different. before marriage it causes brokeness, complication, pain, and typically a "love" that doesnt last. but when its within marriage there is unity, intimacy, joy, and love. a friend of mine used to really struggle with sexual sin and finally she met the man that she felt God had put in her life for the long haul, but there was a period of time where she had to tell him about all the guys that she had been with so there werent any secrets in their marriage and it was really hard for him to hear and i can imagine he probably had fears of comparison and other emotions that werent unity and intimacy because someone else had had that part of her at one point and so on a so forth. im not bashing my friend at all because Christ is bigger than all that and i know that He healed her from all that pain in her past and gave her husband understanding and mercy on her past weaknesses. but the point of all that is that Satan pulled her into all that sexual sin that scarred her for so long. and when her and her husband were preparing to be married they had to battle through all that crap that Satan had piled up and it could have tainted their marriage. Satan hates marriage because it reminds him of the One that he hates most of all......God. any marriage that is one to be desired is one that has God smack dab in the middle of it and so Satan is gonna do everything he can to break that beauty! so i hope and pray that you and i both can have the strength to hold out and stay pure before marriage so that we can have a clearer picture of what God wants with us! and if you have already slipped up or screwed up in that area which has happened to a whole bunch of us then know that in time Christ can heal those wounds and give you purity again if youll commit to pursuing it. He is so good if you'll just let Him in :)

so! shall we piss Satan off!!!! :)