Who is your God?

in the past couple years of my life i have really been trying to figure out what a life, following God, looks like. obviously i want people to see how wonderful this God is that i follow and being a living example of that has shown to be one of the most effective ways for people to see that. not talk but action. but its been a trip having a good balance of me and God where i'm playing my part and He's playing His.

i've done the "good" route where i make all the right choices and do my best to follow every rule, but that ends up pushing God to the side cause i think i got things going fine on my own.....until i don't. and in the process everybody wants to smack me cause im "soooo" good and i hide my faults trying to keep God name good, like he needs my help there.

and then i've done the lazy route where i just know God has everything in control and so it doesn't matter what I do cause everything is going turn out the way its supposed to anyway. but then i end up feeling empty, my life has no purpose and nobody see's anything different about my life. and when that happens God doesn't get the glory that His name deserves and when we don't give Him the glory He deserves, i think we forget the kind of God that He is! so then, whats the point of loving a mediocre God?

i think there is beautiful harmony that happens when we finally get real and find the balance. because it is neither all our responsibility or all Gods. God is God and He is constant. He is never going to change. He loves His people and His grace is abundant. overflowing!!! He is holy and deserves praise. and He meets our needs. He is doing His part and waits for His people to pursue seeking their role. the first step is coming to Him willing and then following in obedience. when we stop ignoring His soft voice and listen to what He has to say about our worth and what He has for us, we begin to trust Him more and more. so many people in this world settle on things that are just ok because they have drowned out the voice of the One who says they are worth more. even christians do this! i've done this! but i'm done settling. God's promises are true and so i continue to follow Him because He knows what is best for my heart and if mine stays aligned with His then our desires line up and so as long as i'm following God i will have everything my heart longs for because God is good :)

more please

recently i have been reading through matthew and im hoping to continue on through the gospels. i want to do this because i have been going to a house church and my first night i was convicted that a lot of the time i take what the gospel says and i make excuses for not taking it for what it really says and following that. Jesus made it very clear that following Him was very costly! He calls us to drop everything and follow Him. i heard a quote once and it said, "born of the Spirit, blown like the wind". the gospel encourages us to let go of the things that trap us. God desires freedom for us in all aspects of life; not bound by sin, debt, pain, or anything that keeps us from being completely free!!! i know a lot of people have a hard time taking what Jesus said and seeing freedom in it but Jesus is the essence of everything good and so by following him and indulging in Him we feel a sense of freedom that out weighs ANY act of rebellion to try and receive it. for example, when i began to follow what my parents taught me and showed them that i could be trusted i gained so much freedom! i think it is the same with the Lord. when we choose to follow Him it may seem like all these rules are suddenly invading our lives but the Lord just wants us to see that life can be enjoyed SO much greater if we see that nothing on this earth satisfies like He does. when he becomes the center of our lives we don't care about what we are "missing out on" because He changes our heart and we begin to desire good things. it seems like a crazy concept to some, perhaps, but im living proof that its true. God is SO GOOD! His entire being is good and He gives me endless joy :) why would i ever want anything else?

Over The Sun

"im finding that maybe i was wrong, that i've fallen down and i cant do this alone, stay with me, this is what i need, please.

sing us a song, and we'll sing it back to you. we could sing our own, but what would it be without you?

i am nothing now, and its been so long since i've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope, this time i will be listening"

-paramore.

i heard something recently that i knew in my head but the way it was phrased hit me differently and impacted me more in my heart and it was this...

"even the things that are greatest in life can be a burden when Christ is not in them"

for example; going to college, getting a job, marriage, children, a new home, etc. all the things that can be really great in this life are bound to eventually wear us down if God is not renewing our joy daily. in Ecclesiastes solomon repeats over and over that nothing is new under the sun. he did everything imaginable in life to exercise pleasure and happiness and eventually it all sucked and at the end of his life he was done with it. he had no lasting joy. no matter what it is, if its within this world its going to get old, its going to let us down, and its going to become a burden. the only way to keep our joy is to throw God into everything in our lives. He is the one that is going to make things interesting and He is the one that is going to surprise us around every corner. if we come to Him and allow Him to renew our joy daily then all the things in our lives will be exciting because we aren't looking to them for our ultimate happiness. our joy comes from the Lord and so everything else is gravy :) without Christ this life is everything that solomon said it was......depressing and monotonous.

B.C. (before Christ)

i read once that truth is truth and it comes from God, and where it is found is not always under the "Christian" label. think about some of the things that are hateful and so far from God's loving character that have been done under that Christian label. something being labeled christian doesn't always make it true. and just to clarify, i am not refering in any way to scripture. i believe that that is where we find the root of truth that everything else flows from, but i've learned not to limit God to that alone. He can be seen in everything :) THAT being said i have been reading a book called 'The Lost Symbol' by Dan Brown. not exactly a book that i expected to find anything useful spiritually from but like i said God can not be kept in a box. at one point in the book they come across a clue of some sort that is a cross but it doesn't make sense to them why the cross is presented here because it is pretty exclusive to Christianity and the backbone of this book is all about the Masons. so they were trying to figure out the purpose of the cross and they recalled back on what the cross meant before Christ came and before the cross became a symbol of Christianity. long before the cross was a christian symbol it was used by the Egyptians to represent the intersection of 2 demensions - the human and the celestial. it was a visual representation of the juncture where man and God become One! i read that and was blown away because ive wondered why the cross was chosen to be the instrument that Christ was killed by but it makes perfect sense as to why it was chosen! Because of Christ's sacrifice on the cross that allowed God to be able to connect with His people on a deeper level. in scripture there is an intimacy that is described in several different contexts - that between a husband and wife, God and his people, and the Trinity. this intimacy is described as becoming One, because you are so in tune with the other and the deepest parts of their heart and their being. The only way God could connect with his people was if Christ shed blood and paid the price of our sins. Christs' blood covers all the crap we do and allows the Father to draw near. He no longer sees the sin that separates, but he see's the beauty of His Son radiating from us. anyway, just a little nugget that i loved.

Ouch!

I recently read 1 peter 3:8-4:19 and it was all about what it means to be a Christian and living like one and how you will endure persecution, no doubt! The purpose of our lives here is to be refined and molded more and more into Christ. He wants us to become more like Him and in doing that its going to cause a rift in some of the relationships we have with people in this world. I mean he was put on a cross by the people of this world, even the ones that seemed to love Him, for living a life glorifying to God. Sometimes it feels like choosing Christ in a situation with non-believers actually hinders them from trusting me because I don't "get on their level" but God has that under control. We just pursue Him and the people that don't know Him in a loving, graceful, and humble way and God will take care of their hearts the rest of the way. WE aren't going to change anyone. And we aren't going to make sense to some people in this world if we follow after and pursue a life glorifying to God BUT as hard as it is sometimes to be looked at as a weirdo from people that you care about, God is THE most important thing and He is beaming because of your trust that "being a weirdo" is the better more fulfilling route ultimately. We are going to be blessed immeasurably by guarding ourselves from some of the things that suck the rest of the world in. so value the purity you have or the purity that God has given back to you because your life and mine are going to be beautiful in the sight of our God!